Party crashers, UNITE!- Talking about the issue

It seems I have become the party crasher who wants to take away the cookies when I talk about this issue with friends. Everyone immediately agrees they have a non-specific and uneasy feeling, but it is almost always followed by “But I’m not quitting FACEBOOK!”

What are your experiences? Any tips on how to approach the subject?

Sorry, I just need to be sure I understand you correctly: Do you feel you are the only one who is actively talking about Facebook’s role on society and our lives AND is doing something about it?

If so, I’m meeting quite many people who are taking pro-longed breaks from Facebook these days. My own compromise is to limited Facebook to Messenger and a few groups I’m member of/admin of. Ultimately I could see myself move those communities to other platforms.

Oh, I’m also actively advising clients against using Facebook pages for building audiences.

Almost everybody is doing that first thing, while far fewer people are taking the next step.

I hear people pay lip service to the idea that social media is unhealthy all the time, almost every day in fact. Everybody knows the issue. When the time comes to actually take a step back from social media/smartphones, there is always an excuse.

It’s a matter of realizing that these excuses are some of the very things built into this technology which have made it so addictive and harmful to our communities. “All of my social life happens on Facebook, so I can’t get rid of it”. Well, that’s EXACTLY the problem!

I try not to be the evangelist against social media, I just lead by example. I just say I don’t use Facebook because I didn’t like the way I felt and acted when I was using it. If everybody who moves away from these platforms just sticks to that basic line, it will be enough.

Yup. We were also +4,000 who signed the Copenhagen Letter last year. Especially the design for addiction is strongly focused Facebook.

On another note, I do think it should be more than an issue of the individual. Have you read this excellent article on The Society Pages?

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Well, I thought it was pretty clear that I wasn’t suggesting I am the only one. That’s sort of why I am here in this discussion group and why I asked about the experience of others.

What I can say is that in my sphere of influence I seem to be the only one talking about this right now. I’m certain it won’t be long until others join, but at the moment I seem to be regarded as trying to crash the party and steal the cookies. Fortunately, this is not an unfamiliar feeling, so I’ll wait. They’ll arrive.

The most difficult part of it for me is that I have spent years advising my clients about how to build their platforms using social media. That’s a tricky switch that is taking some work to navigate.

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Hi @tjalve! That article is indeed very interesting and a point I was struggling with myself. I have commented in a number of discussion threads on the issue, suggesting a different mission for the community, most notably here: What constitutes Humane Technology wrt this community?

I asked the founders to disclose a bit more about their plans here: Humane Tech Community Roadmap 2018 (but no response yet)

Personally I think what’s needed is grassroots movements - lots of them, that start to cooperate - that use tech, yes, but in different business models… from which new cultures arise in which I and other people can thrive. Admittedly a huge, humongous task, but its grassroots, and will succeed if sufficient amount of people participate so together we can build alternatives to what we currently have. @Kbighair and @afuchs friends stay on facebook because they perceive it as their only means to stay connected with their social life…

(PS, I am a moderator, but in no other way affiliated to the CHT and the founders at the moment)

I agree with your reflections on the need of grassroots movements uniting. I also believe in educating policymakers to prepare them to what is going on. Of course actions on individual level (e.g. grayscaling) are powerful too, but especially because everyone asks me whytf do your phone look like that, which then initiates a dialogue and reflection of where we are heading.

What are you doing outside moderating CHT?

I am party-crashing myself by talking and thinking of my own non-profit in humane tech. Still early stages and I’m not advertising too much here. But I’m on LI (see user profile).

I understand this phenomena as well…

I’m the “only one” as well. But I’ve always been like this. For example- While in line to buy a philly steak I saw a raw piece of meat marbled with fat behind the counter- and I left without buying lunch thinking ewww that’s so unhealthy!! And that was after waiting in line for 15 minutes- and only 15 minutes left in my break time at work.

So I’m the type that bails when I find out the impact something has on my health.

People know I’m different in this way and not afraid to make waves or even temporarily isolated waiting for others to jump in the healthy bandwagon.

The good thing about “live and let live” is the people left over in your world are healthier to be around. With this said, I’m not saying Facebook in completely unhealthy- it’s always how and why we do things as humans.

Each person is going to have to find out for themselves how they navigate friendships- with or without social media.

Moving friends around to the next social platform won’t fix anything either…

Be yourself, live and let live, be bold about defining what supports your own health because you are the one who lives with the consequences.